Here she is...my little "Treat Monster".
Isabelle has a sweet tooth, big time. We have always had issues with her eating. She is fussy, picky, and she eat's like a bird. It has been a stress in my life ever since she was about 6 months old. It's a battle I feel like we are constantly fighting, it goes up and down a little but it's always an issue.
There is one thing we have NEVER had to force on her - Treats! She LOVES treats. Her favorite is anything chocolate, she will eat it anytime, anywhere, anyhow. To be fair, I must say, she comes by it honestly. Lance and I both love a good chocolate fix, and try really hard to keep it under control.
I have been feeling so frustrated lately with her constant asking for treats, all day long! She will say, "Mom, I am hungry, can I have a snack?" I will ask her what she wants and she'll humm and haa and say "oreos" or "Chocolate Granola Bar" or whatever else we might happen to have around at the time. She does love fruit and vegetables...however she always wants the treats and has to ask for them first just to try and see if there's a chance. She'll argue and push the issue tying hard to win the battle.
As a result of her pickyness and her love of sweets Lance and I have gotten into a bad habbit of bribing her with treats...we use them to get her to eat a substantial amount of regular food. "Finish your spaghetti and you can have a treat." "If you want to have some cake you better eat your taco" etc. etc. etc....it goes on and on.
I hate feeling like I am forcing her to eat. I felt like she was forming this awful habit of only eating for treats. Food issues are not something I want my kids to develop I want them to have enjoyable, heathly relationships with food. NOT forcing it down your throat just to get the "prize"
It was getting to where she was frustrated cause I was always saying no and I was feeling like the bad guy, always coming down on her. Periodically I would just give in (which is the worst thing to do, I know) because I was so tired of the same fight over and over again. It was always a point of tension and frustration on both sides. It wasn't good.
It needed to change.....but how? I got the answer form one of my favorite parenting books. As it turns out, Isabelle is NOT the only child to ever have this problem - who would have thought? I find comfort in that. The book is called "Just tell me what to say" by Betsey Brown Braun.
Here's what we did:
We created a treat bin. Isabelle and I went shopping together and picked out a ton of her favorite treats. Somethings were individually packaged other thing we had to divide up into little ziplocks such as the oreos. Everything in the treat bin is a single serving size. I then explained the rules to her:
"Here are all the treats you can have. You GET to have one every single day! (said with enthusiasm and gusto - leading her to believe she's getting a great deal)" Then I threw in the kicker...."and guess what else?"
Her eyes grew big..."what?"
"You get to decide when you have it! One a day, everyday, and the decision is yours! I won't tell you what to do and I won't say no. Once you have had it, that's it for the day"
She was ESTATIC to say the least....this sounded like a great deal. No nagging mom, no arguing or debating, no sneaking and getting caught and getting in trouble. The power was all hers!
It's great for me too. I don't have to nag and feel like the bad guy all the time. I get to give my 5 year old some responsibility and some trust. It's all in her hands...on her shoulders. I just stand close by and monitor....it's great learning experience. A great lesson on impulse control.
On the first day of the "treat bin" program she woke up and asked for her treat. It was 6am. I was fully expecting this....she was testing me and the whole thing....seeing if she was actually in control or if I would tell her to have breakfast first. I gladly handed over the bin. With wide eyes, she quickly picked one out and gobbled it up. It was a good learning experience as later on in the day she said: "Wow I sure wish I had waited a bit to have my treat, I ate it so long ago. I can't have another one till tomorrow" She understood the process and that she couldn't have a treat in the afternoon cause SHE CHOSE to have it in the morning. Oh it was wonderful!
It's probably been about a month since we implemented this process. I
have to say things are going 10 times better than I ever expected. The
results have been amazing. The stress and tension over food is gone. No
more bribing, arguing, worrying. It's all over.
She never chooses to have it a 6am. Usually it's sometime in the afternoon or evening. There are even days when she has completely forgotten about it. It's so nice to have the issue completely gone. She doesn't realize it but she is actually eating way less treats than she was before. She seems happier and more content. She is handling the responsibility very well and I couldn't be more pleased with the out come.
